oh baby

I think I'm finally over it.

Amazing!

I used to think so highly of you

I'm doing a project for voice class, and I don't want to go into details about what it is about specifically, but I went searching through old journal entries to help give me some inspiration.

I found some gems:

Oct 2
Today, I was doing my work, and he kept turning around and smiling at me. He did this 3 times, until I was like, "what?" and he just said, "nothing" and kept smiling. It's so weird.

Jan 15
Even if he likes me back or not, it's awesome knowing that there's someone who makes the effort to talk to you, not the other way around. Someone who just looks at you the right way and it makes you nervous but at the same time, you have to smile because it feels so good. There is no better relief then when you're waiting for him to show up and you're all nervous because you don't know what to say...and then when you see him, all anxiety melts away because...nothing needs to be said. And when the silence gets too awkward, he's the one starting the conversation. I don't remember feeling this way about anyone.

I hope to someday feel that way again.

huh

trying to see things from your point of view.

... you're overreacting.

she's crazy

I'm going to write a play.

You and I will be the stars.

But know that I will not paint you in a favorable light.

The girl does not find love.

The boy becomes indifferent.

And we all move on with our separate lives and crumpled hearts.

every now and then

There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how

So true.

I wonder what you would like to say to me, if anything at all.

i'm not apologizing

I wish I would write more.

We are not what you think we are

We are GOLDEN.

WE ARE GOLDEN.

don't you worry

karma's gonna get you.

hello world

I love Vancouver, and I love the people I'm meeting!

Moving here is the best decision of my life so far!

I love waking up here everyday and going to school to study something I love passionately. :)

FML

Sometimes I wish my dreams would just be normal.

But other times I'm glad that they make me feel emotions.

I can now say that I believe in love.

it is time

Some people need to grow a backbone. Don't do everything just because someone else told you to do it. Don't settle for people that treat you like shit and won't let you be yourself.

It's painful to see you getting walked all over

every

single

day.

hi

I can't believe that I'm all moved in and am officially on my own.

It's pretty cool. I think I like it.

hey baby hey baby hey

I should update here more.

Not a fan of: BUZZKILLS ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.

I'm such a bitch today. But I don't care.

no title

I think it's time to write on paper.

I wondered

On 90's TV shows there's always a character that says, "hey it's the 90's!"

I have no recollection of anyone saying this in real life.

Sometimes I want to delete everyone off my facebook and readd people that I like.

I wonder how many friends I'd have.

manhattan girl

Oh just me being cryptic.

I'd like to talk to you but I'm too scared.

Ho hum. Life goes on without you.

thinking deep thoughts

In my dream you wrote me a letter.

You said you loved me and told me all the things I wanted to hear.

2 years ago.

Subconscious mind, why do you torture me so?

the standard

Nothing new to blog about.

No new thoughts. No second thoughts.

No cold feet yet.

23 more sleeps!

domestication

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE AT 2AM ON A MONDAY MORNING?

Is there any point in buying "fine china"? I mean, if you have plain white plates and ordinary knives and forks and glasses and whatever, would people even notice that it's not your best table settings? What's the point in dragging out the non-dishwasher friendly china once a year for Christmas dinner when nobody gives a fuck anyway? If you're that insecure about what people will think of what you eat off of, then take them to a restaurant. They're not worth having over for dinner in your house, anyway.

totally lame but...

I can't wait to see you again.

I'm not just being miley.

hey folks

Expect an update about Vancouver later, I've got to call out someone on their asshole-like behaviour.

You need to get your head out of your ass and start being honest. You can't fucking lie to us forever and if you keep going down this road you're going to end up living on the streets. You have been warned.

There's nothing to see here.

who I am

Vancouver tomorrow!

I'm really proud of myself these days. I set a goal for myself and I gave myself a reason to achieve it.

Have a great week everybody!

complimentary ham sandwich says: You look lovely tonight.

I don't really have anything to update about today! But I just wanted to lighten the mood a bit because my last few entries have been buzzkillish.

I'll be in Vancouver next week taking my course! Ahh so soon and exciting!

Despite all the sadness going on lately, I have a lot of things to look forward to in my life. Good things and bad things will come, but in the end I want to say "life well spent".

I don't even know what to think anymore

I don't know what to say anymore. I can't even access the real journaling site that I want to post on right now because it's under maintenance.

I'm not sure if it's the absurd amount of celebrity deaths in the past week, or if it's a couple of other things going on, but I've just been feeling down lately.

I found the episode of The Simpson's featuring Michael Jackson online and it felt so bittersweet. Even though that episode is probably from the year I was born, it's still one of my favorite episodes after all of these years.

And today I learned that Michael Jackson co-wrote "Do the Bartman"! That was probably common knowledge but I thought it was cool, haha.

Click here to watch the video!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKmplCJfOf8&feature=related

Let's clear the air here

I can't believe that I'm going to blog about this... but here's my opinion on this whole thing.

To everyone who is making tasteless jokes about Michael Jackson, please stop. It hasn't even been 24 hours, if you must make jokes, give it time, or don't do it on facebook where people will see it and get upset. But if you want to start a shit storm, go right ahead. This man was a music legend - countless musicians wouldn't be successful today without him. He was also a son, brother and father, so show some respect for his family, please, if nothing else.

I'm so tired of people's ignorance on this matter. Shame on anyone that's saying things like, "He deserved it cause he molested children." First of all, he was never found guilty of that. Did you ever think that the people who pressed charges against him could've possibly have been hungry for a piece of his success and legacy? Would they have let Jackson keep his children if there was any suspicion that the allegations were true? I highly doubt that. Some people will always take advantage of anyone when they think they can get a pretty penny out of it. Just look at anyone who has gone to court over something as ridiculous as "a stolen idea for a screenplay", if it was your idea, why didn't you develop the screenplay yourself? Because you're useless, that's why. Anyway, I'm going to continue assuming that those allegations against Jackson are untrue.

To say that someone, anyone, deserves to die should be seen as derogatory. I think it's one of the most offensive things you could ever say to someone. This may come as a shock to some people, but you are not God. You do not have the right to pass that kind of judgement on anyone, regardless of the horrible things they may have done in their lifetime. You can't possibly know what death is like, or positively know that death is a fair punishment for certain actions. There's no way that it is, everyone, good and bad, dies at some point. Do good people deserve to die? Nobody knows, but in my opinion, if it happens to everyone, it can't really be all that bad.

And to anyone that's getting upset over the coincidence that Jackson passed away hours after Farrah Fawcett did, please calm down. I'm sure he didn't plan it that way. I'm sure his final thoughts weren't, "Farrah Fawcett died? THAT BITCH! I'LL SHOW HER!" Their deaths are both sad and far too premature, but perhaps Fawcett's death is easier to accept as in recent years her health had declined, where as Jackson unexpectedly collapsed. If you're getting all bent out of shape that Jackson took all the attention, realize that Jackson had more star power. This generation will sadly never fully comprehend Fawcett's contributions and talent in the entertainment industry. But almost everyone has heard of Michael Jackson. It's not that one death is more important than the other ... most people just aren't as familiar with Fawcett's work. I wish that Farrah Fawcett is able to rest in peace.

I'll accept that the media does care too much about celebrities. I'll even admit that some celebrities are unworthy of being on the front page of every newspaper. But that's the way people are, we're fascinated by celebrities. We'll send them fanmail, hatemail, scream at them on the red carpet or in concerts, follow them on twitter, read about them on gossip websites... because they can be so damn interesting. I agree that the media can step over the line, for example, Britney Spears's meltdown in 2007. The last thing the paparazzi should've done was to keep following her. But the public was enthralled by her behaviour, face it, you couldn't wait to see what she did next. It's all about money. These people are going to put what they think will sell more copies or get more hits on their site right front and center. For that, I don't blame them. In this economy, it's every man and business for the themselves. Of course there are better stories to have on the front page too - I'm not denying that either.

Announcing the death of a celebrity on the front page of a newspaper is not a bad thing.

People are effected by this, don't kid yourself. For many artists, a large inspiration for them is now gone. Regardless of whether someone famous or not dies, people have compassion for that person and their families. This deserves to be headline news. I'll have everyone know that the Iran election is still a trending topic on twitter - people haven't completely lost their minds because two celebrities died. People still care about other matters in the world. To say they don't is ignorance. Last time I checked, there was no such thing as International Dead Celebrity Appreciation Day, but there is a Remembrance Day for all the fallen soldiers of past wars. So let Michael and Farrah have their front page today, and tomorrow we can all go back to pretending that we care about the elections in Iran or the global economic crisis because that'll be the "cool" thing to care about tomorrow.

Comments are off, but I can be emailed at smirosevic@hotmail.com

postsecret

I'm a little disappointed that you didn't ask me to be involved.

I would've said no.

But I still wish you asked.

pretty ugly

I've been terrible at blogging lately... but I'm not apologizing.

I don't have much to say... I have a few people to call out on but I won't because it's douchey and... you probably don't even know who these people are!

Doing nothing all day sucks... but at least it's cheap.

Living alone doesn't scare me... but dying alone does.

prodigy

I love Vancouver!

I've still got the sniffles from my cold last week, so lame.

I also have a headache but for different reasons.

I'm pretty anxious but I like it.

hey kid

I haven't written in a couple of days now... whoops!

I haven't been sick in a while, so this cold came as quite a shock. Not as shocking as snow in June though... WHICH TOTALLY HAPPENED. Not impressed.

I'm going to Vancouver on Thursday for the first time since... 2005? Unfortunately I'm only gone for 2 days, and I won't be doing much sightseeing... but looking at apartments is still exciting!

one fine day

Somewhere in this picture is my new home.

Sometimes I don't feel very artistic and inspired.

But I am most definitely an artist with my words and thoughts and ideas and movements.

I still have original thoughts.

Applying for some jobs today. Let's hope I hear back.

airplane

The beginning of June is the beginning of my long goodbye.

I can't wait to start picking up my life and moving.

The more time goes on, the more I realize that I want this more than anything.

let's throw this out there

Sometimes, you just have to give up on people.

It's never going to happen, I'm not valued to you.

I'm cool with that.

advice for those who won't take it

 So I was perusing through facebook today and I noticed a lot of status updates similar to the following:

___________ thinks you're a bitch!

___________ is wondering why drama is attracted to me! It's not my fault!

___________ you're sooooo mature.

What are we? In grade 11 again? If you find that you attract drama, 9/10 it IS your fault. You either deliberately got involved, or you egged it on from the sidelines and was dragged into it. Either confront the soooooo immature person privately, write in a journal, or shut the hell up because most people don't care what you're going through. 

It's a simple concept.

young folks

Back in my own room. Back to sleeping normally at a decent temperature.

I'm happy about that.

I'm currently on a string of days off  and I'm not thrilled about it. I'm really needing a job!

But so is everyone else. How frustrating.

I really don't have anything interesting to add to the blogging world today, I just haven't updated in a few days.

mmm whatcha say?

So we've got company coming over today and they're staying in my room.

And I'm staying in the boring spare room.

Sigh. What's bothering you right now?

I'm starting a project called "My Life is a Movie". Think FML but with stories from movies. I'll post details on that later.

peace of mind

Nothing says happy holiday monday in may than rain and snow!

Yesterday, I either saw a former love interest, or someone that looked just like him.

He was with some girl, that's cool, but get this... he was pushing a stroller.

Of course I just assumed that it was his child, and even though I'm not really sure if it was him or not, all I could think was:

That could've been me.

So glad the future turned out differently. I have very specific plans for my life right now and I don't want a child until I'm ready for one.

just cause

Because Garrett and I were talking about it today, here's my Summer 2009 to-do list:

-Find 2nd job

-Find an apartment

-Film videos of me and Kathryn singing in my car

-Write a love song with Kathryn (but not about Kathryn)

-Screenwriting at VFS for a whoooooooole week!

-Miss Stampede and not care

-Clean out everything

-Take pics with my friends!

-Pack up my life and leave!

bitchcat

I fucking miss this bitchcat. Why'd ya have to get cancer and get put to sleep? :(

At least I still have pictures of you.

It's my day off, and it's dull but well deserved.

I'm loving this rain!

Before I leave, I want to take pictures of all my friends!

crack the shutters

Only 3 more tuition payments to make! I'll be so happy and relieved when it's paid for.

Job interview was yesterday. I'm not too thrilled about it.

I would gladly take out my piercings for an acting job, but not for a minimum wage retail job.

So I'm going to keep on looking for now.

I feel like I should be way more stressed out than I am. I'm making a big move in less than 4 months, I need a second job, I need a place to live...

but everything feels okay.

It's cold and rainy out, and that relaxes me.

word on the street

Word on the street is that caffeine effects males more negatively than females.

Word on the street is that bloggers are more likely to get fired from their jobs because their employers read what they write on the internet.

Interesting, but is that really justified grounds for terminating employment? We all bitch about our jobs, so does it make that big of a difference where we do it?

I'm worried about Tony. It's cool if someone wants to do drugs (their choice) but if that interferes with their graduation requirements, than we have a problem.

Star Trek was very enjoyable! Chris Pine needs to um, get inside me? I could write up a fancy review for it, but I don't think anyone would be interested.

I'd like to thank anon for their comments. It's nice to know people are reading, even if I don't know who they are.

tick tock tick tock

Everyday brings me closer to Vancouver.

It's terrifying but exciting!

I have a job interview on Monday. Please remind me to not fuck it up!

STAR TREK TONIGHT!

Live long and prosper!

hahahaha I'm such a poser.

a thousand miles

Things are going really well lately! I hope it keeps up!

Even though things aren't probably as good as I think they are.. I'm just really happy.

hands open

I seriously CAN'T wait for VFS.

Everyone go and check out Vancouver Film School's youtube channel to see some cool videos made by students (soon to be like me!)

http://www.youtube.com/user/VancouverFilmSchool

sweet potato

How did you manage to make me hate you when you're gone and love you when you're here?

Apartment hunting has commenced.

Job hunting soon to follow.

I'm going to be physically looking for an apartment in June. Oh gosh!

I still want a piglet so badly.

as if it'll ever happen

Something to cheer ya'll up.

I'm actually kind of wishing I was taking a summer course or something.

All this free time is bullshit.

And I don't even know where to start looking for another job.

Fuck I wish I could just get enough hours.

I've had nothing to do for over a week and I hate when things get like this.

This never bodes well for me.

I really don't like living at home anymore.

no regrets

Last night was fun!

I don't know what else to say other than I'm a little discouraged right now for a variety of reasons. I hope this feeling passes soon.

lessons learned

I wouldn't recommend falling in love with someone who couldn't somewhat grasp the extent of your feelings for them.

I've been through it, and it's not ideal.

The concept of love is so odd to me. The timing has to be absolutely perfect otherwise it won't work. Hence why I can't see anyone from Alberta right now.

I can't trust anyone just yet either. I've still got burns from the last time.

pre summer jitters

WHY IS IT NOT SUMMER YET?

I hate spring, it's so ugly and deceiving with it's weather. Definitely the puberty phase of the year.

I am excited for this week though! There are many things to celebrate!

I should be sleeping right now. Or studying. I didn't study much.

It's only Italian.

Here's hoping for a facile finale esame (easy final exam)

And if it's not, well that's amore!

Goodbye Mount Royal.

get wild get rowdy

Does the girl in the picture look like me? y/n

I haven't done one productive thing this week and I'm alright with that.

Just gonna get back on the horse next week.

I have a liquor promo on Friday! An extra $68 in my pocket! :)

I hope it's busy and that there's not a lot of creepy people.

I hope I can stand for 4 hours straight...

love is a battlefield/buzzkill

ahahahahaahahahahaha!

Another boring day.

But hopefully that's changing soon!

@!!@!!&&!&!@#!#&!&!&#&!!@!@!@!&@&!@#!#&! I'M DONE SCHOOL :)

(let's pretend I don't have another exam)

Less than 4 months until I move ahhh!

craigslist is so intimidating.

I hope I never get old

I can't wait to do this again!

I hate all this spare time that I have! I spend all day watching TV/surfing the web/lazing about.

I hate this non working business! I need money!

April is flying by! If my hours aren't increased by May, I'll get a second job. Buzzkill central!

Christians do UnChristlike things!

Just one more exam and I will no longer be a Mount Royal College student...

The year's gone by so fast! I've learned a lot... and not just from classes, either.

I'm excited for Vancouver, but I'll definitely miss MRC and the friends I made!

Gosh I remember being so nervous/excited for it!

I LOOOOOOVE Niko's Bistro in Kensington! I went there with my parents and we had a nice talk.

I like that my parents are so open minded and that they're going to love me no matter what.

Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to get married and have kids (even though that's SO far away!).

But my parents said they'd be cool if I stayed single and childless for my whole life.

As long as I'm happy that way.

I think I do want kids one day... with a man that I love.

But marriage.............. I'm not so sure.

mony mony

I really don't want to be another girl that throws herself at you.

I hate it when the weekend ends. Especially when I have an 8am exam tomorrow morning!

I should probably study.

But I will do the bare minimum instead. It's only writing.

I really don't like all this spare time I've got without school. I wish I was working and making money.

HOWEVER.

I will be dog sitting again this week for my parents. Last time I made $100 in 5 days!

Money for watching pets. Awesome.

I've been really inspired lately. I think it may or may not have something to do with you!

being cryptic

To end a relationship, I think you have to end it in your head first.

That's the hardest part. I like the idea of two people together.

I never really have anything interesting to say. I should post pictures.

Vancouver Vancouver Vancouver! July July July!

I'm 100% 50/50

If we're meant to be something more, it'll happen.

You're exactly like me... it's weird.

But I like it and I'm glad it is the way it is.

starting fresh

I deleted all my old posts today.

I don't want to let the past distract me.

Things can change so fast! Or so slowly.

I hope we stay in touch, I really like you a lot.